Reiki for Grief: Company While You Carry a Loss

Reiki does not cure grief, does not shorten it and does not tidy it up. It does not replace a psychologist or your doctor either. What it can offer, if at some point you want it, is an hour of rest and quiet presence while you carry something that has no shortcut. I am not here to fix anything for you. I am here to keep you company for a while.

If you are reading this with the loss still fresh, take whatever time you need. You do not have to read it all.

What grief is

Grief is the natural response to having lost someone who mattered. It is not an illness, not a failure, and not something you are supposed to handle well.

It arrives in the body before it reaches words: leaden tiredness, pressure in the chest, shortness of breath, a knot in the throat, broken sleep, a jolt every time the phone rings.

It arrives in the mind: fogginess, trouble concentrating, forgetfulness, the sense of watching life from behind glass. Many people think they are losing their minds. They are not.

And it comes in waves. Bearable days and days that collapse without warning — a song, a smell, a date, finding their handwriting on a piece of paper.

Two more things, because they hurt when nobody says them.

Grief has no stages. The five-stage model was described by observing people with terminal illness, not bereaved people, and it was never a map of what you should feel or in what order. If you are not feeling what you were "supposed" to feel, you are not behind. There is no schedule.

Grief is not something you get over. Most people describe something else: over time, life gradually grows a little wider around the pain, and there is more room for other things. The absence does not leave. You learn to live alongside it. And wanting to keep feeling that person near you is not a sign that something is wrong.

There are also losses nobody names: a separation, a diagnosis, a country left behind, a child who never arrived, an animal who was family. They hurt, and they count.

What Reiki cannot do about your grief

I would rather say this plainly, even though it is the last thing anyone wants to hear right now.

It cannot make it hurt less on command. Nobody can promise that, and anyone who does is not being honest with you.

It does not speed up the process. Grief takes its own time, and that time belongs to you, not to a therapy.

It does not replace a mental health professional. If the pain is becoming unmanageable, that belongs in a psychological or medical consultation.

It is not mediumship. I do not speak with the person who died, I bring no messages, and I cannot tell you how they are or where they are. I work from my own spiritual path, but I will not use your pain to hand you certainties I do not have. If that is what you are looking for, I am not the person.

It does not diagnose. I cannot tell you whether this is grief or depression. A professional assesses that.

It guarantees nothing. Some people leave a session relieved, some leave in tears. Crying on the table is not a bad outcome.

What it can offer

A place where you do not have to be okay. This is by far what people thank me for most. Outside there are others to hold up, condolences to acknowledge, work to return to. None of that is required here.

Rest for an exhausted body. Grief is enormously tiring. An hour lying down, in silence, under a blanket, is not a small thing after weeks of bad sleep.

Respectful touch. Many grieving people have gone a long time without anyone touching them calmly. The laying on of hands is gentle and non-invasive, and if you would rather I worked a few centimetres away with no contact, that is fine too.

Company without questions. You do not have to tell me what happened. You do not have to explain. You can lie down and stay silent for an hour.

That is all I offer. It is little, and yet in that moment many people have told me it was exactly what they needed.

What the evidence says

There is no scientific evidence that Reiki is effective for grief. I know of no studies supporting it, and I will not stretch the ones that exist.

The NCCIH states that Reiki has not been clearly shown to be effective for any health purpose, that there is no scientific evidence for the energy field the practice proposes, and that it has not been shown to have harmful effects: nccih.nih.gov/health/reiki.

The 2015 Cochrane review (Joyce and Herbison) examined anxiety and depression, not grief: three trials, around 62 participants, insufficient evidence to conclude.

Liu and colleagues (2025), in Systematic Reviews, pooled 11 trials and 661 participants and found a small but statistically significant improvement in quality of life (SMD 0.28; 95% CI 0.01–0.56), with high heterogeneity (I² = 65.1%).

In short: a safe practice, with no demonstrated efficacy, and a small signal on general quality of life. The full analysis is in Does Reiki work?

Grief and depression are not the same

They get confused, and the difference changes what you need.

	Grief	Depression
The pain	Comes in waves; there are moments of relief	More constant and flat
Self-image	Usually intact	Intense guilt and worthlessness appear
Connection with others	Comfort is sought, even when it is hard	Sustained withdrawal
Pleasure	Returns in moments: a meal, a laugh	Persistently absent
The loss	Sits at the centre of everything	There may be no identifiable cause

This table orients; it does not diagnose. The two can coexist: a grieving person can develop depression, and that does not mean they loved the person less.

When a mental health professional is needed

See a psychologist or psychiatrist if, after several months, the pain remains as intense as at the start and stops you functioning day to day; if you cannot pick up any part of your life; if withdrawal persists; if consuming guilt appears; if you are drinking or using substances to get through; if you have panic attacks; if you have not eaten or slept properly for weeks; if life feels entirely without meaning.

There are forms of grief that become entrenched and benefit from specialised support.

And if thoughts appear of harming yourself, of not wanting to wake up, or of going with the person who died, please do not wait and do not face it alone. Talk today to your doctor, go to an emergency service, call the 123 emergency line in Colombia, or ask someone you trust to go with you to find help. That is not something Reiki accompanies.

Being in therapy does not stop you coming. Reiki can accompany that process; it cannot take its place.

What a session is like when someone arrives grieving

I work in Medellín, in Santa Elena — the cloud-forest village above the city — and at a distance. Sessions are available in English.

We talk very little at the start. I do not ask what happened. If you want to tell me, I listen; if not, we begin anyway.

You lie down clothed, under a blanket, and I lower the light. I usually leave silence unless you would prefer very soft music. I work with the laying on of hands, starting at the head and moving down slowly, and with grief I stay longer over the chest — which is where almost everyone points when you ask them to show you where it hurts.

What I see most is crying. It usually arrives without warning, halfway through, in people who have spent weeks holding it in front of their children, their parents or their team. When it happens I do nothing special: I do not console, I do not speak, I do not interrupt. I simply stay. And then, almost always, a different kind of calm follows.

Here in Colombia, with the nine days of the novenario, the house is full of people at first. The hard part usually comes later, when everyone returns to their own life and you are left with a silent house. People rarely come to me in the first week. They come in the second or third month, when nobody is asking any more.

In Santa Elena, with the cloud forest outside and that clean cold, some people have told me it was easier to breathe up there. In Medellín, with the valley noise, the body takes longer to let go.

Afterwards, water and a few minutes sitting up, for as long as you need.

If grief is taking your sleep, which is the most common thing, see Reiki for insomnia. If anguish appears, there is Reiki for anxiety. And if you want to know who will receive you, there is who I am and how I work.

Frequently asked questions

Does Reiki help you get over grief? I do not use that phrase, because grief is not something you get over the way you pass an exam. And Reiki does not resolve it either: there is no evidence that it is effective for grief. What it can give you is rest and quiet company while you carry it. Many people describe relief simply from leaving the silence of their house for an hour. That is experience, not proof.

How long after the death should I wait before coming? There is no correct interval. Some people come within days looking for an hour of rest; others arrive months later, when nobody is asking how they are any more. Come when you want to, not when someone tells you it is time. And if you would rather never come, that is fine too.

Can you tell me whether my loved one is at peace? No. I do not practise mediumship, I bring no messages, and I have no way of knowing. I work from my spiritual path and I deeply respect yours, whatever it is, but I will not hand you certainties about something I cannot verify. I would rather lose a client than offer comfort I cannot stand behind.

I am in therapy for the loss. Can I have Reiki as well? Yes, as a complement and without leaving your therapy. Mention it to your psychologist, who is carrying the process. Reiki does not interfere with psychotherapy because it does something different: one works with your history and your resources, the other offers a stretch of accompanied rest.

I am going to cry in front of a stranger and I feel embarrassed. It is the most common thing that happens in this room, and there is nothing to explain or apologise for. I will not comment on it, will not look at you waiting for words, and will not interpret it. If you would rather I worked without contact, or that the session happened at a distance from your own home, that is possible too.

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Disclaimer

This article is for educational purposes and does not replace diagnosis, treatment or follow-up by a healthcare professional. Reiki is a complementary practice: it accompanies, it does not substitute. If you are under medical or psychological care, continue it and talk to your treating professional before adding any complementary therapy.

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If at some point you would like an hour of accompanied silence, write to me on WhatsApp at +57 314 811 7561. No hurry. Whenever you want, if you want it.